


From Tokyo to Tottori

by isuilde



Series: Respite Verse [7]
Category: Free!
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Road Trip, a lot of misunderstandings on Makoto's part actually, and this is how they got together in the Respite Verse, in which everything is rather anticlimactic, iwatobi white day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1423804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isuilde/pseuds/isuilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the longest of time, Makoto firmly believes that one day, Rin is going to have enough of Haruka’s nonsense and simply kiss him hard, and then the two of them are going to get hitched.</p><p>Which is why he’s completely floored when Rin shows up in front of his apartment one night, both determination and fear warring in his eyes that match the soft shade of red that dusts his cheeks. With a steady voice that breaks on the last syllable, he says, “Makoto, I’m in love with you. Go out with me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Tokyo to Tottori

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyKnightOfHollyrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKnightOfHollyrose/gifts).



> Last one of me archiving what I wrote for [Iwatobi White Day 2014](http://iwatobiwhiteday.dreamwidth.org/). Phew. =)) 
> 
> Also, early warning, considering I have never once set foot in Japan, everything written is here is based on the research I have done on the places mentioned, and also from several friends who'd been there. I'm sorry in advance for any mistake. I'm also rather sorry for the word count considering this fic is pretty much nonsense, hahaha.
> 
> Thank you for [vapoleons](http://wailordes.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing this, she's one of the best people EVER, ngl. I made several changes after the beta, so any mistake you found in here is completely on my behalf. :p I hope you'd enjoy this nonetheless.

For the longest of time, Makoto firmly believes that one day, Rin is going to have enough of Haruka’s nonsense and simply kiss him hard, and then the two of them are going to get hitched. 

Which is why he’s completely floored when Rin shows up in front of his apartment one night, both determination and fear warring in his eyes that match the soft shade of red that dusts his cheeks. With a steady voice that breaks on the last syllable, he says, “Makoto, I’m in love with you. Go out with me.” 

Makoto opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again, but the words die in his throat before they can even take form. He watches Rin shuffle before him, mind reeling from surprise and that _frightening hope_ he thought he’d crushed down since high school (because wasn't it obvious, even back then, how much Haruka and Rin’s worlds revolved around each other?), and Makoto swallows hard. 

“Is this a joke?” he asks, even though Rin isn’t the type to joke around—but perhaps Nagisa dared him. Perhaps he lost a bet. Perhaps—Haruka told him to? Because there’s no way Rin is in love with Makoto; how many years has Rin kept his eyes on Haruka, chasing and surpassing him but never quite capturing him? How many years has it been since Makoto found Rin’s eyes and asked, almost desperately because he just didn'twant to be the only one left behind: _“Me, too, Rin. Show me that sight, too.”_

Confusion flits over Rin’s face and is gone in a second. “What? No. I’m fucking serious here, Makoto, go out with me.” 

“Okay,” Makoto says, mind still running a mile a minute, and Rin’s face lights up like a pine tree on Christmas Eve. Makoto’s heart skips a beat. “I’ll just—I’ll call Haru.” 

The light on Rin’s eyes vanishes as fast as it appeared. “You’ll—call Haru…?” he repeats, sounding both unsure and incredulous. “Makoto, _what_?” 

“Haru. I mean—“ he’s not doing this right, the words are tumbling off his mouth in no apparent order, because his brain still refuses to understand. “It’s Haru. I’ll tell him that you. To him.  I mean.” 

There’s this look that Rin has, the one that makes his whole face darken when it appears. The redhead makes a frustrated noise that sounds suspiciously like a swear, stares right into Makoto’s eyes and Makoto backpedals, because Rin actually looks _hurt_. 

“Goddammit, Makoto. Forget it.” He clicks his tongue and turns around. “I’m going home.” 

When Makoto calls, Haruka tells him that he’s an idiot and hangs up. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Rei majors in Physics, but he already has a small public gallery for the collections of things he qualifies as rare and beautiful. He still swims; he helps with Nagisa and Haruka’s swimming club sometimes, or asks Makoto and the others out for a swim on the weekends. 

“I rather miss the ocean,” Rei admits one day, when Makoto, Seijuurou and Gou accompanies him for a swim in a pool facility near the campus. They’re helping each other do warm-ups while Gou takes several steps away to admire their muscles. They’re all used to that by now—kind of. 

“We can always go to the beach,” Makoto replies. “Chiba should be good, right?” 

Rei laughs. “Senpai, summer’s over.” 

Yeah, Makoto thinks, summer’s over. And Rin’s gone over for one of his many friendly swim meet abroad—China, Gou told them, because Rin always forgets to notify the rest of them where he’s going—a day after the weird joking confession on Makoto’s doorstep. They haven’t spoken since, which feels odd, and Makoto can’t help but worry a little over the redhead. 

Maybe Rin thought that Makoto would mull over the conversation while he was gone? Maybe he thought it would be too awkward between them, or that Makoto would start demanding more of Rin’s time and attention? 

 _I know better than to hope for anything like that_ , Makoto tells himself, and dives. The water splashes—he goes in a bit too deep, feeling the frown form on his face even before he surfaces and hears Seijuurou laughing at him. That’s all right though, Gou will chide her boyfriend for Makoto. _She_ _loves me_ _better than Seijuurou anyway_ , Makoto thinks, a bit smugly, and let his legs push him forward. 

When he pulls himself out of the pool, Rei is there, offering a hand. He takes it, gives him a small smile. “Thank you.” 

Rei has his eyebrows knitted, which means he’s thinking. “You seem distracted.” 

Makoto blinks. “Really? I’m—not though?” 

There’s amusement dancing in Rei’s eyes. “Yes, you are. Anything on your mind?” 

“Not really,” Makoto hesitates, not even sure if he should tell anyone about the confession-that-wasn't-a-confession. He’s told Haruka, but Haruka is different, Haruka is a part of him, the way his arms and legs are, and Haruka is the one who has the right to know about Rin. Rei is his best friend, one that’s integrated into his routine and life, and Makoto usually tells him things, too, but this particular thing concerns Rin. He isn’t sure if he should speak of issues that also involved Rin to someone else. 

Rin might get angry. Rin is always incredibly complicated that way. 

Rei turns fully towards him and waits, and Makoto wants to laugh at how well his friends understand him. 

“No, I swear, I don’t really have anything to tell you,” he scratches his chin, racks his brain so that he could come up with an answer that wouldn’t make Rei suspicious. “I was just wondering when Rin will be home; I think we should sometimes go back to Tottori together. Especially since none of us came home for Obon this year.” 

Rei stares at him for a long moment, and Makoto can practically see the second Rei decides to let the lieslide. “Yes, we should. That means getting the same days off though, do you think everyone could make it?” 

“Does he think everyone could make what?” Seijuurou chimes in with a grin, his long arms slinging around Makoto and Rei’s shoulders and steers them back towards the pool where Gou is waiting, and that’s how they got to discuss their next holiday plans. 

**\-----o0o-----**

It turns out none of them can take proper days off before December, so they decide to make it a Christmas vacation instead. 

“Let’s make it a road trip!” Nagisa says, sprawled on the huge map they’ve opened in the middle of Makoto’s living room. “We can drop by Nagoya. And Kyoto. Osaka, too!” 

“Do you realize how long that would take us—“ Rei begins, a frown on his face, but Gou has already chimed in with a “Yes, yes, let’s go on a road trip! Let’s go on a road trip!” 

“It’s going to be extremely expensive, you know,” Makoto says, but he’s helplessly grinning, so Rei elbows him right on the stomach. 

“It should be fine if we work hard until December, shouldn’t it? Oniichan wouldn’t mind paying more than our share, he gets paid so ridiculously big for that sports drink and swimsuit commercial.” Gou waves her hand dismissively. “Also, I think he got a bonus for winning two golds and three silver last summer.” 

Seijuurou, because he’s a sucker for his girlfriend’s enthusiasm, says, “I can drive.” 

“It’ll be cheaper if we just go by train or bus though,” Rei still tries, but everyone is already excited, and Nagisa pulls him by the neck so that he’s sprawled on the map too. 

“It’s much more fun when it’s a road trip, Rei-chan,” he says, bright like the sunshine that he is, before turning to everyone else. “Everyone in agreement, raise your hands!” 

“We’ll drop by Okayama,” Haru tells them as five hands shoot up—probably kind of orders them, Makoto thinks in amusement. “Their specialties are spanish mackerels.” 

Nagisa perks up. “I heard they even have the mackerel dance!” 

It’s inevitable that they cave to Nagisa’s wishes, in the end. Makoto and Seijuurou planthe route while Rei starts looking for proper accommodations that wouldn’t make a dent in their budget the way the highway tolls will, regardless of Nagisa’s protests of “but it’s a road trip! We should sleep in the car!” Haruka and Gou discuss the places they need to visit, and no one is sending email to Rin, yet. 

Makoto raises the question: “Who’s telling Rin?” and everyone stares at him blankly. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Makoto sends Rin a lightly and carefully-worded email, telling that they’ve decided to do a road trip on December before Christmas. As an afterthought, on the bottom of his email, he adds a line that reassures Rin that no, he isn’t thinking too much about Rin’s joking confession last week so Rin should be rest assured and if there’s anything, Rin would talk to Makoto, right? 

Rin answers with a terse: _I know. And_ _no, I won't go with_ _you guys on a stupid road_ _trip. That’s_ _suicide._

Something in his chest aches at the cold reply; a familiar pain, but at the same time unfamiliar because it’s been such a long time since Makoto felt it. It’s an ache that had once clawed at his chest back when he used to call Rin and the redhead never picked up. He and Rin had been one of the first to mend their relationship completely and he’s gotten used to how Rin usually goes to him before he does everyone else.

He hasn’t known the ache for what feels like _forever_. 

“Senpai, what is it?” Gou's voice speaks up near his ear; Gou who likes to visit his apartment by herself to bring Makoto new brands of tea and share the things she learns about public health and nutritions and food. Gou, who is sitting next to him on his couch, her legs cradled in the crook of her arms with her hands around a warm cup of tea and the television blaring her favorite afternoon drama. Gou, who keeps Makoto company despite Seijuurou’s occassional jealousy fits (that he seems to keep up with just for fun; Makoto thinks it’s pretty crazy) when Makoto’s been holing himself in his apartment working on his research report. 

Gou, who cut her hair short less than a month ago and looks like Rin’s clone at a single glance. 

Makoto stares at her for a long while, watches the way her frown grows, and doesn’t even fight when she snatches his phone away and thrusts the warm cup of tea into his hands. He watches her growl in irritation, watches her pluck her own phone from the coffee table and dials, and then she’s shouting into the phone, arguing with whoever it is on the other line, and makes a pout that she only does if Rin is being stupid. 

Oh, Makoto realizes. She’s calling Rin. 

“No, I’ve checked with your manager and I know you have nothing going on December, you can’t lie like that to me, Oniichan. Why are you so horrible?” she pauses, and Makoto wonders if there’ll be early wrinkles on her forehead because she’s frowning really deeply. “You’re coming with us, and that’s final. You’re paying most of it anyway. No—did you even know what kind of face Makoto-senpai made just now because you sent him that email?” 

Makoto starts. “What?” he blurts out, but Gou ignores him. 

“It’s worse than a kicked puppy would look—yes, so take responsibility!” she swats at Makoto’s hand when Makoto tries to reach the phone, leaning away from him. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, that’s fine, we can deal with that. Okay, that’s great! Bye, we love you!” 

He can hear her phone makes the beep that signals the connection cut, then she’s turning at him with such a huge grin. 

“He’s coming for the road trip, don’t worry.” 

Makoto wants to tell her that that’s not the problem, the problem is Gou bringing him into the conversation, and it’s been pretty awkward between him and Rin even without it, thank you very much. But Gou’s favorite afternoon drama is starting, the opening song echoing Gou’s humming voice, so Makoto settles back with a worried expression instead. 

How is he going get everything back to normal? 

**\-----o0o-----**

Rin gets back to Japan when they’re all doing karaoke. 

He pretty much just crashes into their karaoke booth and onto the couch, courtesy of Nagisa telling him an hour ago where they were after Rin's plane landed. Gou laughs at him and throws him the microphone, and Makoto freezes because the next song is his. 

Rin snatches the microphone off midair, twirls it a little in his hand and looks at the screen. “Bump of Chicken’s _Present_ , huh?That’s kinda depressing. And old.” He looks over at Makoto, smirking, and for a second Makoto thinks he’s going to pass out at the sheer relief. He throws a couch pillow playfully at Rin, which the redhead manages to catch pretty easily, and the song starts. 

It’s an old, slow rock song, with low notes that makes Makoto sound like he’s grunting at times, and one of Makoto’s all-time favorite songs. He loves the acoustic intro, loves how it starts with quiet words that grow into screams, loves the narration-like lyrics—about someone comforting another, who’s been barricading themselves against the world, who’s been building walls to keep others out, yet still wanting to hear the softest knock asking for them. 

It reminds him of how Rin used to be, a little. 

Rin has a naturally gorgeous voice—an elegant tenor with a wide range that moves seamlessly with every note that he sings, vibrating soothingly on the last syllables of the lyrics, and dips sweetly when he takes a breath. It’s perfect for ballads and slow rock, and everyone loves Rin’s voice. Haruka says that out of their whole tight-knit group, Rin and Makoto have the best voices, but Makoto’s voice, while he’s also a tenor, usually sounds rougher than Rin’s, so he never really believes that. 

“ _But well, this is me_ _.”_  

Rin meets his eyes, and that’s when Makoto abruptly realizes that he’s been staring at Rin for a while. 

 _“But well, this i_ _—“_  

His voice catches in his throat, and Makoto half-chokes, half-inhales, and the room erupts into laughter. Seijuurou hands him a glass of water, his eyes crinkling as his boisterous laugh joins Nagisa and Gou’s high-pitched one. Makoto chuckles. 

He glances up at Rin. 

Rin doesn’t laugh. 

Rin doesn’t stop singing. 

Rin is still staring at him. 

_“So, what are you doing from now on? I have to go_ _.”_

Somehow, Makoto’s breath is taken away. And that’s what Rin has always been: an existence who brings things into motion, who sucks everyone into his pace, who changes the air into wind with a mere breath. Someone who never stops, who naver takes an extra breath, and yet still has the time to take a look around and bring people in.

 _“Listen, somewhere else_ _,”_ and there it is, the pause in which Rin doesn’t even breathe, and for a second, Makoto dares to hope. 

 _“_ _There was the sound of a teardrop falling_ _.”_  

**\-----o0o-----**

“Haru,” he says when Haruka picks up the phone. “I’m scared.” 

He can actually feel Haruka’s brain changes gear. “Makoto? Are you okay? Where are you?” 

“I—“ he feels silly for this, waking Haruka up at two in the morning because he can’t stop thinking about Rin. It’s Haruka, he reminds himself, the one who has Rin’s world revolving around him, the one who should by all rights be with Rin. He’s not supposed to call Haruka for this, he’s supposed to keep this feeling for himself. Crush it again, the way he did back in high school, when the world had narrowed down to Haruka and Rin. 

“Where are you?” Haruka demands now, and there is the quick rustle of sheets, alerting Makoto to the fact that Haruka is getting out of bed and most probably ready to fly out of his own apartment to where Makoto is. It warms his heart, that Haruka is willing to do such a thing for him. 

“Haru—no, I’m fine, I’m home, okay? Don’t—go back to bed, please.” He waits, listens to Haruka’s even breathing. “It’s silly. I just. I thought if I heard your voice, it’d be okay.” 

Haruka grunts. There’s a creaking sound, which probably means he’s back in bed. “Did something happen?” 

“No,” Makoto says, honestly, because there has been absolutely nothing. It’s just Rin, he thinks, it’s Rin and his terse words, his tensed looks, and the awkwardness between them that Makoto wants to banish. But it doesn’t matter. Haruka shouldn’t have to deal with this. This is his problem—his and his alone. 

So, he smiles and tells Haruka, “It’s okay now. Good night, Haru.” 

Haruka is a simple person. He doesn’t ask, and Makoto’s glad for that. 

\-----o0o----- 

Seijuurou manages to convince one of his friends to lend him an SUV.  It’s an old Nissan Liberty that looks well-cared for despite the numerous scratches on its silver exterior and the slight crack on its left headlight. Its interior looks comfortable and enough to accommodate the seven of them. It also still works perfectly fine—Makoto tests the thing out the day before their road trip and comes back completely unscathed. 

“I worry more about our budget,” Rei half-whines when they all crash at their usual burger joint for supper. “The gas and toll fare will cost _a fortune_.” 

“I told you that I’ll cover for whatever you guys can’t cover.” Rin chucks a straw at him. “Stop calculating costs, Rei, you’ll go bald early.” 

“I don’t want that,” Nagisa says, his face stern as he faces Rei, and that expression might work better had he not have his hair tied in tiny pigtails that are Gou’s handywork. “Rei-chan, stop thinking so you don’t go bald.” 

Haruka peers sideways at Nagisa. “You’re saying that you won’t love Rei anymore if he goes bald? Nagisa, that’s _awful_.” 

“I’ll love Gou even if she goes bald,” Seijuurou murmurs solemnly, and everyone chooses not to comment on that because the redhead looks absolutely exhausted. The big fire in the shopping district earlier in the afternoon took nearly three hours to control, and Seijuurou was thick in the midst of it. Gou pats him lightly on the elbow and grins when Rin’s face sours notably. 

They end the night with a toast and a promise to meet up on Seijuurou’s apartment after lunch the next day. 

**\-----o0o-----**

They drive all the way to Nagoya, mostly because it’s got both Toyota Commemorative Museum of Industry and Technology and also Port of Nagoya Public Aquarium. Seijuurou’s taken the first turn behind the wheel, and Makoto spends the journey jammed between Haru and Nagisa in the far backseat because he couldn’t gather enough courage to take Rei’s offer of sitting next to Rin. 

On the positive side, he never has to go hungry because Nagisa hoards all the snacks. 

It’s already dark when they get to Nagoya, so they check straight in to a small ryokan-style hostel. In the face of Nagisa’s complaints, Rei tells him, “We’re not sleeping in the car. Besides, we have Gou-san.” 

Nagisa pouts. “But it’s a road trip!” 

Haruka stares at the hostel brochure approvingly and says, “It has onsen-style baths,” because really, that’s all that matters to him. 

“I don’t mind sleeping in the car,” Gou jostles Nagisa’s side good-naturedly. “It’ll be like a sleep over.” 

“You’re not allowed to sleep in the vicinity of less than fifty metres around Mikoshiba-san.” Rin tells her sternly, and that’s that. They get two rooms: Nagisa and Rei and Rin and Gou, while Makoto is off with Haruka and Seijuurou. 

Just as they walk up the stairs to their room, Makoto realizes that Haruka’s fallen behind him. He turns, calling out “Haru?” and sees him matching Rin’s pace, so he shrugs and keeps walking. But Haruka’s voice is loud enough for him to hear: “Rin, trade rooms.” 

Something in Makoto’s chest bottoms. Of course Haruka would want to room with Rin. But Rin can’t trade with Seijuurou; that would mean Gou sleeping less than fifty metres from Seijuurou. He supposes this is the time he should be a good best friend and wingman for Haruka—or whatever they call it these days. So he turns quickly before Rin even opens his mouth to answer Haruka, and says, “Yeah, Rin, you can trade with me if you want.” 

Two pairs of eyes look up and stare at him incredulously. Makoto feels like he’s completely on the wrong page. “What?” 

Rin groans. “To hell with this. Thanks, Haru, but no thanks.” And then he barrels forward, ignoring the way Haruka shrugs and tells him “Your loss,” pushing past Makoto in an angry stomp, and Makoto is left staring after him. 

He turns to Haruka, perplexed. “Did I say something wrong?” 

Haruka looks at him dead in the eyes, then sighs and shakes his head and tells Makoto, “You are an idiot.” 

**\-----o0o-----**

They wake up early to Nagisa and Gou’s excited chanting of “Killer whales, killer whales, we’re going to go see killer whaaales!” and Rin’s grumpy, “Goddammit, it’s like they have no aquariums with killer whales in Tokyo, fuck, it’s too early for this.” 

It’s supposed to be a road trip, but the morning routine feels like he’s back in Iwatobi all over again, Makoto thinks. Haruka heads down to the bath not even five minutes after he wakes up, and Makoto has to go coax him out of the water fifteen minutes before they check out. Rin takes the wheel this time, swerving them around Nagoya and deliberately avoiding the public aquarium much to Nagisa and Gou’s chagrin. They stop at the Toyota Commemorative Museum and spend almost three hours there—where Seijuurou and Rin knock their heads together at displays of various machineries and devices and cars.  Rei looks fascinated, reading up plaques and brochures and even wandering into the museum library, while Nagisa and Gou dart around, dragging Makoto to different corners and taking pictures. Haruka gets bored after an hour and a half, and disappear into the gift shops. By the time they all meet up for lunch, he’s got a paper bag full of small handmade souvenirs, mostly art and craft stuff. 

“Haru-chan, that’s a lot!” Nagisa exclaims. Haruka shrugs and says, “Take your pick.” 

Makoto takes a tiny metal phone strap in the shape of one of an antique 1998 _Toyota_  MR2 REV 5, but Haruka’s hand finds his, stopping him. He looks up at his best friend, and Haruka plucks the phone strap off his hand in an apologetic gesture before tossing it to Rin. 

“That was the last one,” Haruka tells Makoto by way of explanation. Rin actually makes an awed noise when he takes a good look at the strap. Makoto doesn’t mind; Rin probably knows better about these sorts of things, but there’s a slight sting in his chest, an irrational anger that makes his stomach churn. 

It should be okay. If Haruka and Rin could get together because of this road trip, that might finally get him to completely squash down his wishful thinking of ever having a chance with Rin. 

The very thought leaves him with a sense of fear that roils his stomach further. It’s inevitable, he tells himself silently, watching Rin reaches out to pull Haruka in a tight one-armed hug as a gratitude for the phone strap, that Haruka and Rin would end up together sooner or later. He’s known that for years. There’s no reason to be so disappointed about it, or even scared. 

But the question flashes in his mind anyway, along with the palpable fear gripping his heart: _where would that leave me?_  

**\-----o0o-----**

Port of Nagoya Aquarium is an awesome place, overall. They take a lot of group pictures this time; Makoto careful not to let Haruka wander away or strip in front of the dolphin water tank. They watch the dolphin show—Rin excuses himself to go out to answer a call, which apparently has something to do with his publicity, and they wait for nearly half an hour for him to finish the call before getting into the South Building to watch the documentary of Fuji ship, and finally into the North Building to see the killer whales. 

And then they get back to the car, this time Makoto taking the wheels with Rei sitting next to him holding the map. Their next stop is Kyoto, because it’s only two hours tops from Nagoya, and everyone is excited at the prospect of Kyoto public baths. 

It’s seven in the evening when Makoto parks their car on the outskirts of Kyoto. “It’s easier to move around by public transportation in Kyoto,” Rei explains, pushing his glasses up in the way that makes him look very knowledgeable and Nagisa’s eyes twinkle. “We can get by the subway to the capsule hotel, it’s within walking distance from Funaoka Onsen.” 

“You’re really smart, Rei,” Haruka says very sincerely. “Thank you.” 

“There’s no beating his love for water, isn’t he,” Rin grumbles as he steps out of the car, but there’s laughter underneath his words. Gou and Seijuurou start out first, Nagisa close on their heels, feet skipping happily at the prospect of a hot bath and warm meal very soon. Makoto lags behind to make sure the doors are locked, before hefting his backpack and looking around. 

“Whose turn is it to drive tomorrow?” he asks. 

“Nagisa’s.” Haruka answers as he walks past Makoto, steps unrushed but with a firm purpose. “Come on, Makoto.” 

“I’ve got the keys,” Makoto says, falling into steps, and nearly bumps into Rin, who has apparently been waiting for the rest of them to get out of the car. He blinks, catches Rin’s eyes, and almost smiles, but Rin ducks his head like he’s avoiding Makoto’s gaze, reaching out with a palm open. 

“Keys,” he grunts, almost like he’s angry. “I’ll be in the same room with Nagisa anyway, I’ll give it to him.” 

Makoto wonders where the laughter underneath Rin’s voice has suddenly gone. “Sure,” he surrenders the keys, fingertips touching Rin’s wrist as he puts them on Rin’s palm, half-hoping that even if Rin notices the way his touch lingers, he wouldn’t say anything. Only when he pulls away, Rin’s fingers catch his own, and Makoto jerks back in surprise. 

“What—“ he begins, panicked because _oh god, Rin notices_ , but Rin looks at him in such a way that reminds Makoto of his gaze on a particularly challenging math problem. “Ri—Rin?” 

Rin keeps their fingers together for a long moment—Makoto tries counting by his heartbeat, but they’re too erratic he loses count just after four. 

“Makoto,” Rin says, looking annoyed, and that’s when the keys drops to the ground with a loud clatter. Makoto jumps, Rin visibly flinches, and they spring apart. 

“Uh,” Makoto murmurs, feeling rather dumb. “Sorry, sorry, that was—“ he bends down, plucking the keys off the ground. “Sorry. You were saying…?” 

Rin clicks his tongue, snatches the keys from Makoto’s hand, and turns away. There’s a tangible irritation in his voice when he answers with a curt, “Nothing, let’s go.” 

“Okay,” Makoto says, not sure if he should be disappointed by the abrupt cut in their conversation or hurt by the way Rin acts. It’s always so confusing, when it comes to Rin. So complicated. Sometimes he wishes Rin could be as simple as Haruka is, but then again, if Rin is as simple as Haruka, then Rin wouldn’t be Rin. 

Makoto thinks he’d prefer the usual Rin, if it has to be that way. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Nagisa sings in the bath. 

Scratch that, Nagisa gets everyone in the bath, including some locals and foreigners who happen to be enjoying their bath with the rest of their tight-knit group, singing _Sakura Sakura_ together in a crude, hilarious sort of choir. Rei is properly embarrassed for his boyfriend, but he has that fond, indulgent smile on his face when Nagisa wades over to him and coaxes him to sing louder. Haruka simply burrows deeper into the water, looking like he’s about to fall asleep any time even though Makoto swears he hears him humming along, and Seijuurou, of course, joins Nagisa in his own, boisterous way, Makoto and Rin in each arm as he leads them to finish the song. 

Before it ends, Nagisa turns towards the thin walls that separate the men’s bath with the women’s, and yells, “Come on, Gou-chan, we can’t hear your voice, you gotta sing louder!” 

An embarrassed yelp echoes from the other side of the wall, and then Gou’s voice, sounding angry and very much done with every single one of them, retorts: “I don’t know any of you anymore, don’t talk to me!” 

Makoto laughs so hard, he has to excuse himself out of the bath to go to the toilet and pee. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Rin is arguing quietly into his phone when Makoto stumbles into the hotel lobby early the next morning. 

“That wasn’t the agreement, they can’t just do that. It wasn’t in the contract, I didn’t—“ he pauses, and Makoto is fascinated by the way his expression morphs from annoyance to anger, by the way his eyes narrow and his teeth bare, by the way he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. “It was a friendly swim meet; it wasn’t a competition, what the fuck?” 

Makoto stays still on the last of the stairs, unsure if he should step out into the view. The phone conversation sounds extremely important, and Rin looks genuinely angry, which is something Makoto rarely sees nowadays. He’s gone out of his capsule to take it too, meaning that he probably doesn’t want anyone to hear it. 

But he hates that frustrated look on Rin’s face. He wishes he could reach out, could take Rin’s face into his palms and erase that look forever. Maybe he could take all of Rin’s pain and fears, as well, if Rin would let him. 

“Fine, fuck, I’ll think about it, I’ll figure something out, god. Way to ruin my vacation.” Rin hisses into the phone, effectively cutting the line by jabbing a finger on the screen. Makoto doesn’t have time to even consider hiding himself—Rin’s already turning back towards the stairs—so he makes an exaggerated, sleepy yawn and stretches just as Rin’s eyes find him. 

“Ah,” he smiles his most innocent smile. “Good morning, Rin.” 

Rin eyes him for a long time, still with that pinched look in his face. Makoto keeps the smile until Rin’s doubtful expression smoothes into one of puzzlement. “Morning. How long have you been there?” 

“Hm? Just now. I woke up too early, so I thought I’d go down and get some fresh air.” His reply is light—Makoto doesn’t lie often, but he lies very well. Even Haruka usually needs some time to figure out that he’s lying to his face. If he’s lucky, Rin might never notice that Makoto’s overheard his conversation. He doesn’t want Rin to get angry, that’s all. “Why are you down here, Rin?” 

There. He’s given an opening—Rin could seize that if he wanted to talk. 

He watches Rin fiddle with his phone in hand, almost like he’s considering, but then he blinks and Rin is looking at him, shrugging. “Got a call from my manager. Some commercial offers.” 

Makoto recognizes a deflecting move when he sees it. If it were Haruka, it’d be easier to see what bothered him. Makoto wouldn’t even need to ask further. But it’s Rin, and Rin is way more complicated, and Makoto is never sure of himself when it comes to Rin. 

So instead of pressing on with more questions, he nods and smiles. “I see.” 

Rin pockets his phone with a sigh. “There’s a Starbucks nearby, wanna get some coffee?” 

**\------o0o-------**

Rin doesn’t tell him anything, in the end. But they both go to said Starbucks, joining the short line of bleary-eyed people ordering their first coffee of the day, talking amicably about their plans for today and the things they’d seen in Nagoya yesterday. Rin is rather unstoppable when he starts talking about cars, so that’s what most of their conversation topic is, and even though Makoto only understands about three-fourth of Rin’s ramble, he rather enjoys listening to Rin, so it turns out fine in the end. 

Neither of them brings up the unaddressed awkwardness that’s been hanging over their heads since Rin’s joking confession. Makoto isn’t sure if he ever should. 

The rest of the group is up in their usually loud, rowdy banters when they get back to the capsule hotel. They go out of the hotel at nine, and then get their Kyoto Sightseeing Card for 1,200 yen each (“Unlimited travel by the subway and city buses, this would serve us best,” Rei says with a proud air) before hitting the Raku Bus and begins their day of visiting World Heritage Sites in Kyoto. 

They visit Kiyomizu Temple last, following Rei’s wish to drop by Gion and look around for tacky souvenirs. Makoto buys some crudely illustrated postcards on a whim and sends it back home to the twins, with a hasty scrawl of “I’ll see you guys home soon,” on each card. Rei and Haruka spend almost an hour examining a particular painting of a geisha, discussing angles and colors and art values before Rei finally nods to himself and buys the painting, asking the shop to send it to his gallery back in Tokyo. Rin and Gou buy some hair ornaments for their mothers, while Seijuurou and Nagisa also buy hair ornaments for their respective girlfriend and boyfriend (much to Rei’s chagrin, because Nagisa picks the tacky butterfly with unsymmetrical garish green and purple wings one, which he doesn’t consider beautiful. He wears it anyway. Makoto respects him very much for that). 

“Gou,” Seijuurou calls when they leave the souvenir shop. “That shop over there, they rent out geisha costumes and you can get photographed in them for—“ 

Gou slaps a pamphlet smack on Seijuurou’s face, hissing a “I’m not paying ten thousand yen for that, _are you insane_?” and skips away to where Rin is. Makoto manages not to laugh at Seijuurou’s mournful face. 

They drop by Gion Kinana in the evening to treat themselves to some Kyoto sweets—they order some matcha parfaits and kinako ice cream, which is more cream than ice, actually, but tastes so good Nagisa nearly bursts out in tears at his first spoonful. The winter seasonal parfait is amazing, too; even Rin scraps his spoon on the bottom of his glass and looks disappointed when it’s all gone, even though he doesn’t like sweets. They all leave the ice cream shop with a satisfied air, if with a rather sad look at their wallets. 

They crash back in the capsule hotel by eight, exhausted to the bone but happy. Nagisa fell asleep halfway in their journey back, and Rei gives him a piggyback up to his capsule, which is rather a funny scene considering Nagisa’s almost as tall as Rei now. 

Haruka leaves their room to take a shower before bed. Makoto turns to Rin, about to ask if he’s also going to shower, and catches Rin frowning at his cell phone again, fingers jabbing at the screen fiercely as he types a message. 

“Rin,” he calls, rather cautiously, weighing every word hovering in the air between them, and finally settles with a lame, “Is everything okay?” 

Rin spares him a glance, brows still furrowed. “Yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.” 

Makoto’s pretty sure everything is not fine, especially when Rin slips out of the room five minutes later to make a call, but he isn’t sure if he should meddle with Rin’s problems, whatever it is. Rin isn’t Haruka, after all. Rin is an existence that blazes like a comet, amazingly strong and too bright for someone boring like Makoto, always moving and never stopping, pulling the whole universe into his pace and laughing when they scramble to keep up with his speed. Rin is complication at its finest, a beauty created from pure contradiction and stubbornness with an ambition bigger than the world itself, so fierce and capable to break through anything. 

Except Makoto knows Rin could be as brittle as a dying blade of grass, when he stops. 

It scares him a little; the deepest part of him that always needs to take care of people screaming at him to reach out and shield Rin from everything like he does Haruka and the twins sometimes. Even if it would result in Rin hating him, because Rin isn’t someone he can cage within his arms—his whole existence is too big for Makoto’s arms to trap. 

So he doesn’t follow Rin out. Instead he stays in his capsule, stares at the low, white ceiling, and thinks, _hey, Rin, do you ever get some rest?_  

**\-----o0o-----**

Nagisa sits behind the wheels just after lunch the next day, and they speed down to Osaka in an hour. Rin takes over afterwards because he’s the only one with an international driver’s license, and they swerve towards Namba, where the infamous Glico Running Man sign and the Dotonbori Canal welcome them. 

Namba is crowded, even in the late afternoon. They park the car and get around by foot, walking down the Dotonbori canal and enjoying various food and entertainment offered around them. When they’re all pretty much stuffed and Gou starts grumbling about how their food intake these last few days lacked proper nutrients (“I’m concerned about your diet, Oniichan, think about your muscles! Think about everyone’s muscles!”); it’s already almost dark, so they decide to take the train straight towards Osaka Castle. 

“I wonder,” Nagisa says in the train, looking immensely thoughtful. “If they have penguins in the illumination.” 

“I heard they have swans and dolphins,” Seijuurou tells him. “Maybe they have penguins, this year? I like Kani Doraku crab sign in Dotonbori better, I think.” 

“Mikoshiba-san,” Rei eyes him, obviously judging. “That thing wasn’t beautiful at all.” 

“A crab the size of that sign would be so beautiful though,” Rin mutters. He’s fiddling again with his cell phone, Makoto notes, concern welling up in his chest at the knowledge that Rin is dealing with a problem even when they’re all supposed to be having fun in their vacation. “Imagine all the meat we can eat.” 

Haruka shrugs in his particular _it’s-not-mackerel-so-I-don’t-really-care_ way, and Makoto, the only one who understands that particular shrug, laughs. Everyone stares at him by way of demanding explanation, which he provides with an amused: “I suppose Haru would be much more interested in Okayama’s specialty, huh?” 

Rin snorts. “Of course he would.” 

“That’s just like Haru-chan!” Nagisa pipes in, draping himself over Haruka from behind. Haruka doesn’t even bat an eyelash. “But we all love Haru-chan who loves mackerel, so that’s okay!” 

Haruka’s eyes soften ever so slightly. 

Osaka Castle is pretty crowded at this time of the day—the Osaka Castle 3D Mapping obviously being one of the main tourist attraction in Osaka in winter. They pay the admission fee, and Nagisa, the ever-cheerful and enthusiastic being that he is, lead them into the garden. Makoto actually does a double take when they reach the castle garden—the whole grassy grounds is literally covered with blue lights, shining stark against the dark, and Makoto remembers back when Iwatobi Swim Club did their first summer camp—the lighthouse, the stars reflected in the water, his friends’ presence. 

“Beautiful,” Rei breathes as they cross the garden, replicas of swans and deers scattered all over, all decked in lights of various colors. They walk under a canopy of light, drowned in chatters of other tourists, everything glowing green and blue and white and gold like scenes straight out of children’s books. Gou whips out her camera in a move that’s almost like instinct, pushing them all together and starts snapping photos here and there. 

It doesn’t take long to wait for the 3D Mapping to start—as the music starts blaring and the Osaka Castle comes alive in colorful glows, they settle down to watch comfortably, craning their necks and pointing out as colors and forms that wash over Osaka Castle. 

Makoto is sitting between Seijuurou and Nagisa, which is probably why he doesn’t notice at first, but as the castle changes from green to blue, he realizes that they’re missing one person. He shifts, looking back to make sure, before finally turning to Nagisa. “Where’s Haru?” 

Nagisa wrenches his gaze away from the castle, blinking. “Huh? Wasn’t he with Gou-chan?” 

“No,” Gou pipes up from behind. “I was with Oniichan.” 

“He was still next to me when we looked for a spot to watch—“ Rei pauses, probably noticing the change in Makoto’s expression. “It’s really crowded, he might have gotten separated. Should we go look?” 

“I’ll go,” Rin announces, rolling his shoulders as he rises to his feet. “I’ve seen this shit before anyway, you guys wait here. Pretty sure I know where he went.” He turns and pats Makoto once on the shoulder. “I’ll text you when I find him.” 

“Oh,” Makoto says, almost dumbly. “Okay.” 

Rin disappears in the throngs of people. Makoto wonders if Rin knows exactly where Haruka went, wonders if it would be like in Gou’s favorite afternoon drama and Rin would find Haruka, standing in the midst of blue lights, maybe, and then he’d finally confess and they’d finally get together. They might come back with fingers linked in a subtle way to let the rest of them know that they’re together, finally, after so many years of having the world narrowed down to each other. 

Something in him aches. _Where does that leave me_ , Makoto thinks for a second. Then he scolds himself, because that’s _selfish_ , and it’s not like Rin and Haruka would leave him, right, they’re his _best friends_. 

Except then neither Haruka or Rin would ever need him to care for them, and Makoto isn’t sure how to deal with that. 

**\-----o0o-----**

When Rin comes back with Haruka approximately an hour later not holding hands, Makoto is irrationally relieved to the point that he feels guilty over it. 

“Where were you, Haru-chan!?”  Nagisa rushes and slams into Haruka, squeezing him tight, drawing an exasperated grunt form the older boy. “You missed the castle illumination! It was so pretty, they had lions and dragons and lots of fish! And explosions! Lots of them!” 

“He was over by the dolphin replicas,” Rin reports, shoving Haruka’s shoulder good-naturedly. “You are a fucking dork, Haru.” 

Haruka glances at Rin with, lips curving up into a small smirk. “You were the one who spent almost an hour talking.” 

“What were you guys doing?” Makoto blurts out, and he regrets it instantly, because it bring everyone’s attention to his question. “I mean, Rin, you didn’t even text me that you found Haru—“ 

Rin has the grace to look sheepish. “Ah. Yeah, sorry about that, I forgot.” 

“It’s fine,” Haruka tells Makoto. “Everything’s fine.” 

They get the chance to see the 3D mapping once again before finally deciding to go find a place to stay for the night. As they cross the garden glowing blue on their way back, Rin elbows Makoto gently on the side, pointing at the three figures of dolphin replicas on the far corner. 

Ah, so that’s where Haruka was. So that’s where Rin talked to Haruka for almost a full hour. About what, Makoto could only guess. 

“Fretter,” Rin tells him, a little teasing note in his voice. But there’s something more to that tone, something heavy and tiring, and Makoto can’t figure out what it is at all, so he doesn’t laugh. 

When it comes to Rin, it feels like he’s forever standing on uncertain grounds. Makoto doesn’t know what to do with that. 

**\-----o0o-----**

They check into TEN Hostel in the Kita Ward, this time getting a room with eight bed dorms. They take turns showering before bed, and almost simultaneously collapse into their respective bed afterwards. 

Makoto starts awake around two am to the low sounds of someone chatting. He’s about to go back to sleep, thinking that Nagisa might be up to something with Rei and he absolutely doesn’t want to have anything to do with that, when one of the voices rises in volume ever so slightly and Makoto recognizes it as Haruka’s. 

“I told you to tell him properly.” There’s exasperation thick in Haruka’s voice. “Really, Rin, you could’ve done better.” 

“I tried, okay,” Rin’s voice hisses back. “I already said it loud and clear, okay? Not my fault he doesn’t believe me.” 

“This is Makoto, of course he doesn’t.” 

“Yeah, of course he doesn’t. That's one of the most problematic things about Makoto.” 

Makoto swallows, consciously keeping his breath even. His heart is racing—he’s actually surprised at the slightest hurt washing over him at the knowledge that Rin and Haruka talk about him behind his back (of course they would, they’re all best friends, Makoto does the same from time to time, too), but he’s more shocked at the tiniest part of him whispering _you’re already being left out, see_? 

“Makoto is Makoto,” Haruka says, after a long silence. 

There’s a sigh that comes from Rin. “I’ll think about it some more. Maybe when we get to Iwatobi.” And then there are rustles, like Rin is trying to settle in more comfortably. “Night, Haru.” 

“Good night, Rin.” 

And then it’s silence. 

But Makoto keeps staring into the darkness, wondering if it’s time to give Haruka and Rin their space, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t hang around them too much. They’d like that, maybe—Makoto loves the wider smiles Haruka has when Rin is around, and he loves the brash grin Rin gives Haruka when they’re challenging each other. 

It’s not like he’d lose them completely. He'd just be stepping back a bit. It wouldn't be a problem—he could do it. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Haruka shoves their map against his chest the next morning. “You’re sitting on the front seat,” he tells Makoto, before letting Nagisa drag him away. Makoto blinks down at the map, and then turns when Rin passes him, fiddling with the car keys. 

Well. So much for trying to step back a bit. 

Rin gives him a curious, long stare once they’re in the car. “You have panda eyes, Makoto, did you actually sleep?” 

Makoto just smiles at him, and instead lightly says, “Today’s supposedly clear. We should have a great view from the observatory deck.” 

He doesn’t point out that Rin has bags under his eyes, too. 

**\-----o0o-----**

He sits in the front seat as Rin drives to Umeda Sky Building. 

They ride the elevator up to the observatory deck to get a great open view of Osaka. The air is refreshing, too. There’s a silly lover's seat, which Nagisa enthusiastically pushes Rei onto, and the ground around them lights up into a heart as they hold hands and each pushes a button. Gou giggles when she takes a picture of them, swatting Seijuurou away when he suggests the two of them to try, later on. 

Rin stands some meters away from the, talking into the phone with that pinched look again on his face. Makoto watches, staring at the way the chilly winter wind plays with Rin’s hair, and the way Rin’s frown gets deeper when Haruka bumps his side, gently. “Makoto.” 

“Huh?” He turns, blinking. “What is it, Haru?” 

“He’s fine,” Haruka says mildly. “Stop worrying over Rin.” 

So Haruka’s noticed. But Haruka didn’t overhear that morning phone call back in Kyoto, so Haruka wouldn’t know, right? Unless Rin’s told him, which is why Haruka could safely say that Rin would be fine? Makoto returns his eyes to Rin’s figure, still radiating annoyance and frustration, and says, “He doesn’t look fine from here.” 

Haruka doesn’t answer for a moment. When he does, there’s a resigned tone to his voice. “He’s not fine now. But he will be. It’s Rin.” 

“I wish he’d talk to us about it.” Makoto murmurs. “Whatever it is that bothers him. We’re all here, enjoying our vacation, and he’s the only one who isn’t.” 

“If he hasn’t told us and he’s trying to handle it himself, that means he thinks he can still take it.” Haruka shifts, turning to Makoto and looking straight into his eyes. “Stop worrying too much. It’s Rin.” 

But Haruka’s worried too. Makoto knows, from the way Haruka’s eyes flick towards Rin from time to time, from the slightly uncertain tone in his voice when he told Makoto and Rin could handle it. Makoto knows. He reads Haruka as well as he reads himself, if not better. 

“But you’re worried, too.” Makoto says. 

Haruka makes a disgruntled noise. “I don’t make it so obvious.” And then his voice softens. “But Rin will be fine. He just needs us around, even if he doesn’t talk about it.” 

“I still wish he would,” Makoto tells Haruka. “I don’t want him to feel like he’s alone.” 

Haruka actually snorts this time. “He knows that he’s not alone. He always does.” 

From the corner of his eyes, Makoto catches Rin pocketing his cell phone into his pocket. “Do you think I should ask him to talk about it?” 

“I think,” Haruka says firmly. “You need to talk to him about something else.” 

Makoto doesn’t even need to ask to know what Haruka exactly means.

**\-----o0o-----**

The trip to Okayama takes three hours. Seijuurou hops behind the wheels while Rin completely crashes in the back, trapped between Rei and Gou, sleeping with apparent exhaustion on his face. Makoto keeps his seat in the front to help Seijuurou navigate, but they’re not even halfway through when Gou calls out from the back: “Makoto-senpai, can I sit in the front?” 

“Huh?” Makoto says, but Seijuurou’s already giving him a threatening look of _don’t-you-dare-getting-in-the-way-of-my-luck-today-Makoto_ , so he gives in to Gou’s demand. 

He half-expects Haruka to move to the back seat, but his best friend doesn’t even look up when he goes to the back. Makoto sighs, settles down next to Rin, and wonders whether the whole universe is playing with him. 

“You look tired, Makoto-senpai,” Rei tells him when the car starts moving again. “You should catch a nap.” 

Makoto agrees. Mostly because Rei is right, and Rin is warm against his side. 

He falls asleep with his head leaning against the window. 

**\-----o0o-----**

When he wakes up, there’s a tuft of red hair under his jaw and a head tucked under his chin, and it’s quiet. 

He thinks he’s awoken by a flash of light—like a camera—but no one’s holding a camera around. The car is still moving. Rei is sharing an earphone with Nagisa who sits in front of him, head bobbing to beats Makoto can’t hear. Haruka’s peering at him from the front, his gaze serious. Makoto resists the urge to duck his head and bury his face into Rin’s hair— _oh my god, Rin’s hair_. 

He'd nearly flail, if it wasn't for Rin shifting against him, which makes him still completely. 

Amusement flashes across Haruka’s eyes. 

“Sorry,” Makoto mouths at him. Haruka makes a knot with his eyebrows that spells out his confusion, and Makoto tries to gesture at Rin with the smallest dip of his head. Haruka just blinks at him, confusion still in his eyes, and Makoto finally mouths, “You should’ve been sitting here.” 

Haruka makes a face. “No. Rin’s heavy.” He’s not serious, Makoto could see that particular shine in Haruka’s eyes whenever he thinks he’s teasing Rin. 

“Do you want to switch?” Makoto offers, voice almost too soft in his effort in not waking Rin up. “I’ll sit with Nagisa.” 

Haruka shakes his head, giving Makoto a pointed look. “Stop refusing your luck and enjoy cuddling Rin, Makoto.” 

Makoto’s breath stutters. “What?” 

“It’s about time you start to take him seriously,” Haruka shrugs, but he doesn’t take his gaze off Makoto. “I get enough of Rin being grouchy whenever he talks about you.” 

Something in his chest squeezes. “He hates me that much?” 

Haruka pauses, stares at Makoto for a long time like he can’t comprehend what Makoto’s just said, and then flatly says, “Are you kidding me.” 

Makoto wants to laugh at how Rin-ish Haruka sounds. He can’t though, because Haruka’s gaze sears, strange and unfamiliar, and he’s never looked at Makoto like that, and Makoto doesn’t understand— 

“I know you didn’t believe him when he confessed,” Haruka says slowly, still unblinking. “But Makoto. You don’t honestly think Rin hates you. Do you?” 

Makoto thinks of that night, of Rin showing up in front of his door, determination and fear warring in his eyes. He thinks of Rin’s voice, breaking on the last syllable as he told Makoto something Makoto has only ever dreamt of hearing. He thinks of how Rin’s entire face lights up when he said okay, and how it shuts down so fast when he mentioned Haruka. He thinks of the slightest sign of hurt flitting across Rin’s face before the redhead left. 

 _I’m in love with you_ , Rin had said, cheeks tinted with a shade of red that’s too new for Makoto. _Go out with me._  

“That can’t be,” Makoto breathes in disbelief. “He can’t be serious about being in love with me. Right, Haru?” There’s a touch of hysteria, of desperation in his voice, the way it gets when he stumbles upon a new discovery in the lab, the way it gets when he needs someone—someone with higher authorization or knowledge to verify that his findings are right, that he isn’t imagining things. “It can’t be me. I’m not—I’m not someone he’d—I’m no one, I’m not like you, Haru, he can’t be seriously—“ 

“And to think that I’d started the whole thing with a clear sentence of I am in love with you,” Rin’s voice cuts him, low and quiet but firm, if with a tiny touch of frustration, from somewhere under his jaw. “What part of that did you misunderstand, Makoto, god.” 

Makoto’s face goes red so fast he actually feels dizzy for a moment. “No—but—Rin, why are you awake?” 

“This is so goddamn loud,” Rin grumbles, knuckles rapping on Makoto’s chest, where his heart is pounding so hard it echoes in his ears. Rin doesn’t look up, though, stubbornly keeping his head down and pressed to Makoto’s collarbone, but when Makoto steals a glance down, the tips of his ears are red. 

Haruka is looking at them the way he would a new painting, both fascinated and endlessly amused, and Makoto imagines seeing himself and Rin from Haruka’s eyes—two grown men pressed close against each other, blushing, refusing to look at each other but never making a move to get away from each other, either. 

They do make a rather funny picture, he supposes. 

“Oh!” Seijuurou barks from the driver’s seat to the background noise of Gou’s giggles, and Makoto suddenly realizes that Seijuurou’s keeping an eye on them from the rear mirror. “Look at you two! Should we stop somewhere and wait for you guys to sort this out?” 

“Shut up!” Rin calls, his whole body tensing. “If you’re driving, keep your eyes on the fucking road, god.” 

Rei chuckles. Nagisa turns at them, eyes positively sparkling. “Or should we stop somewhere and get you two a room?” 

Rin chucks a tissue box blindly at the general direction of Nagisa, who ducks with a peal of laughter.  The sudden change of the atmosphere is too much—Makoto’s brain is scrambling to keep up, scrambling to make sense of what Haruka said, what Rin said, what the implications to their relationship are, what Seijuurou and Nagisa’s teasing means—and Makoto raises a hand, covering his eyes with it, pressing hard in an attempt to stave off the heat crawling up his face. 

“You guys are ruining the moment,” he says, half-laughing and half-crying because he honestly have no idea what is happening at all, except for the fact that hope is a heady thing, surging up his whole being and makes his world whirl a little too fast. 

“What are you talking about, Makoto-senpai,” Rei shoots back, laughter clear in his voice. “There was no moment.” And then Rei yelps, most likely because Rin kicks lightly at his foot. 

“Shut up, speedo megane, there totally was a moment.” Rin complains, grouchy and grumpy, but he’s still pressing his face on Makoto shoulder and refuses to look at anyone. “Makoto was having a revelation, you all interrupted it.” 

“Makoto,” Haruka says, and when Makoto looks at him, Haruka is smiling—genuine and amused and happy. “You should answer Rin properly.” 

Makoto nearly chokes. “I don’t—Rin, I’m—“ 

Rin pushes at him, gently, slowly, but he never lifts his head. When Makoto tries to duck and catch his eyes, he pushes at Makoto’s face with a clear air of _don’t-fucking-look-at-me_ , making aggravated noises, and Makoto just can’t help but take Rin’s hand and pressing it to his face. 

“I love you,” he blurts out, closing his eyes tight so he doesn’t see Rin’s red face, doesn’t see Haruka’s too-wide smile, doesn’t see Nagisa hoot and Rei watching with too much enthusiasm. This feels too public, this doesn’t feel right—this feels like something he should tell Rin under the blanket of darkness where no one could see. But his friends are all here, and even if Makoto’s face burns with embarrassment, he knows that he wants everyone to know. He wants everyone to see how much he loves Rin. “I love you, Rin, I love you. I lov—“ 

Rin’s hands come to cover his mouth, stopping him effectively, and Makoto finally looks up to see Rin’s face—redder than he ever remembered seeing, thoroughly flustered and embarrassed—and Makoto laughs against Rin’s palms. 

“You’re so goddamn embarrassing,” Rin grouches, glaring at him and everyone else. “You’re all so embarrassing, holy shit.” 

“Congratulations, Rin-chan, Mako-chan!” 

“Took you long enough!” Seijuurou hollers from the front, laughter boisterous. 

Rin forces Rei to switch seats with him and spends the rest of the way to Okayama refusing to so much look at Makoto, only to have everyone else tease him even more mercilessly. 

Makoto spends all those times with a face buried into a car pillow, feeling like his whole head has boiled, red to the tips of his ears and down to his neck. 

**\-----o0o-----**

Rin gets another phone call just when they enter Okayama. The whole car goes quiet, and everyone pretends not look so obvious about it as they listen in to Rin’s conversation. That’s when it hits Makoto: everyone is aware that Rin’s having a problem. 

Everyone is waiting for Rin to break it to them. 

When Rin hangs up, he makes a tired noise and laughs at the awkwardness hanging in the air. “What the fuck, good job on pretending not to eavesdrop. You guys suck.” 

“We weren’t,” Haruka says; which could either mean _we-weren’t-listening_ or _we-weren’t-pretending_. Considering Haruka, it’s probably the second. 

Rin snorts, lets another moment of silence drift amongst them, and then says, “I lost the contract with the swimsuit thing.” 

Gou starts visibly in the front seat, twisting in her place to look back. “What? But how?” 

“They made a fuss when I didn’t get the best time, after that friendly swim meet in China. Said it reflects badly on my record, even though it was just a friendly swim meet, and there’s nothing in the contract that said I have to win all my races. Basically they just tried to rope me into doing a free commercial for them to make up for that.” 

“Wow,” Seijuurou says. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

Rei nods in agreement. “I think it’s good you lost them, Rin-san. I don’t think anything good will come out of associating with people like that.” 

“Yeah,” Rin agrees, but Makoto hears the absent tone in his voice, like Rin isn’t really listening to the rest of them, like he’s thinking about something else completely. “Good riddance.” 

**\------o0o-----**

Haruka says, “Let’s go eat sawara,” and Rin tells him, “Sorry Haru, go ahead and keep us seats, okay? We’re going somewhere else first.” 

Everyone stares at how Rin is determinedly keeping ahold of Makoto’s left hand. Makoto blinks at him, bewildered, and asks, “We are?” 

“Taking a train.” Rin says, voice turning no-nonsense and business-like. “Haru, keep your phone on and with you, we’ll be back. Don’t eat everything.” 

“Then don’t come back too late,” Haruka shoots back, lips curving up ever so slightly even as Rin pulls Makoto towards the closest station. 

They don’t talk—Rin doesn’t even open his mouth except to buy them tickets to Korakuen. They board the train, not speaking a word, and Makoto wonders if he’s said something wrong in the car, or if Rin is having second thoughts about being in love with Makoto, after all— 

“I can hear you thinking,” Rin groans, just as the train stops. It’s their exit, and he lets Rin pull him along, following the mass of people jumping off the train. “Stop thinking. Haruka’s with the others, it’s fine.” 

It takes a moment for Makoto to realize why Rin’s words sound odd. 

He blurts out, “I’m not thinking about Haru.” 

Rin barks a laugh, but his steps stutter a little bit. “Yeah? Who else are you thinking, then?” 

“You,” Makoto answers honestly, because what good is it to keep it to himself, and Rin stops dead in his track, turning to stare at him for a long time. 

“But I’m here,” Rin says.

Makoto nods. “Exactly.” 

“Oh,” Rin replies, like he hasn’t considered that answer before. And then he turns, pulling at Makoto more hurriedly than before, until the two of them half-run across the street and into the entrance of Korakuen. Rin pays for the admission, because Makoto is still confused as to where they’re going and what they’re doing. 

Korakuen is a beautiful park. It’s huge, and they could see Okayama castle across the lake, half-covered by tall trees forming green canopies above the water. There are small shrines and teahouses, and some makeshift waterfalls that quickly reminds Makoto of Haruka—he might be interested in coming along, next time. 

Next time. This once, just this once, Makoto thinks he wants to spend it only with Rin. 

“I thought I should do this right,” Rin says, breaking the silence between them. Makoto backtracks quickly, turning to Rin with a puzzled look. Rin shrugs, absently kicking a stone into the water. “I wanted a right start. For us.” 

“Us,” Makoto repeats dumbly, the word still feeling unfamiliar but good on his tongue anyway. 

“I told you, sharp and clear, back then.” Rin stops before a lotus pond. “That I’m in love with you, and I want to go out with you. You didn’t believe me.” 

Makoto looks down. “I thought,” he says, and it’s an odd relief, to have it out in the open like this. “You and Haru would be together someday.” 

Rin gives him a disbelieving look. Makoto just stares right back at him and continues, “Your world has always been narrowed down to Haru when it comes to him, Rin.” 

“Your world revolves around Haru all the time,” Rin says. “For the longest time I thought you two were going to hook up, sooner or later. Haru literally kicked me out of his house to go and confess to you. And when I did so, you brought up Haru almost instantly.” He huffs, half in amusement and half in exasperation. “What was I supposed to think?” 

“I tell Haru everything,” Makoto says, because he can’t think of anything else to answer Rin. “You know that.” 

“Yeah,” Rin nods, and the he falls silent, looking over the clear water like it’s taking him somewhere far away. 

Makoto steps forward and falls next to him. He touches Rin’s arm tentatively, and when Rin doesn’t push him away, he holds on to it. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly. 

Rin takes a deep breath. “Yeah. No. I mean—“ he falters, voice petering off. “Sorry, I was just thinking.” 

“About your sponsor?” 

“Not my sponsor anymore.” 

“Disappointed?” 

Rin’s eyes narrowed. “Fuck, no. I’m angry.” He exhales, like he’s letting go of something heavy inside of him. “A bit worried over whether I can keep supporting my family with just one sponsor.” 

“You have savings,” Makoto points out. 

“Unless I win, I don’t get money,” Rin mutters, and there’s the slightest restful tone underneath his words. “If I don’t keep up—if I can’t keep up with everyone else, my sponsor wouldn’t bother with me.” 

Oh. Oh, so this is what has been bothering Rin. This is what he’s not telling anyone. Makoto processes the relief that surges through him at the knowledge, and there, just like he always does, he finds his absolute confidence in Rin, finds the trust he’d always put on Rin. This isn’t a big deal. 

“You’re so much more than that,” he says—points out, really. Because it’s the truth; Rin blazes brighter through life than anyone else, and such an existence draws people near even more. “You’re still going up. You’ll be so much more than just keeping up with everyone.” 

Perhaps it’s the conviction in his voice that makes Rin smile. Perhaps it’s the ridiculous naivety Rin sense in his words. But the smile Rin offers him is a bright and confident, and Makoto thinks he’s said the right thing. He lets his grip slides down to fin Rin’s hand, trapping it inside his own and squeezing gently. 

“That’s the thing about being with you that I like,” Rin tells him, rubbing his thumb over Makoto’s knuckles absently. “You’re steady. You’re a constant, you’re—“ he hesitates, looking for the right word, and then sighs. “You make me feel safe. And better.” 

Makoto chuckles. “Thank you?” 

“Not everything about you is perfect, okay—I hate how you fret. What’s with that, anyway, the amount you spend taking care of Haru is really rather scary.” 

Makoto’s throat works. “I—Haru is different,” he says, lamely. “I need to take care of people, Rin. Haru gives me that, because he knows I need it. It—calms me down.” He looks down, stares at his hands. “Haru is like the twins. The goldfish. He’s—part of me. I need to take care of him, or I’d get scared he’d be broken.” 

Rin snorts. “It makes sense in a bizarre way, I’ll have you know that.” He turns, looks up dead into Makoto’s eyes. “Am I like that, too?” 

Makoto shakes his head. “You’re different,” he says, and while in the past, before this moment, he’d always struggled to find, to explain his position in Rin’s life—Rin’s ever-changing life, blazing so beautifully and brightly—now, the words come so easily. “You’re strong and capable in everything, Rin. Haru’s right, it’s you. When it’s you, I don’t get scared even if I don’t take care of you.” 

“Because I can take care of myself?” Rin laughs. 

“Because you’re so capable and strong and you’re never going to break completely.” Makoto smiles. “I don’t worry so much when it’s you. So long as you keep me up-to-date on what’s going on.” He closes his eyes. “I can rest, if I’m with you. Better.” 

Rin studies him closely, fingers tight around Makoto’s own. “Okay,” he says slowly. “So let’s get this right. Let’s do it from the very beginning.” He straightens up, looks straight into Makoto’s eyes, determined and brave and something in Makoto races just for that stare. 

“Go out with me, Makoto,” Rin murmurs, voice steady and never breaking, this time. “I’m in love with you.” 

Makoto doesn’t know if it’s possible for someone to drown in happiness, but he thinks he might as well be, right now. 

“I’ve been in love with you for a long time,” he answers, and sees Rin’s breath catch. He ducks his head then, suddenly feeling too shy to meet Rin’s eyes, but Rin makes an impatient noise and he looks up again, and when he does, Rin’s face is less than an inch from him. 

“Can I kiss you?” Rin asks, and Makoto feels the words rather than hear it. 

He chuckles. “If I said no, you’d be so embarrassed, Rin.” 

“Goddammit, Tachibana, if you say no, I consider you the worst human being in Earth.” 

Makoto closes the gap first, laughing against Rin’s lips when Rin makes that tiny yelp. 

**\-----o0o-----**

They end up going back to Korakuen after eating sawara with the others, just because Makoto happened to mention the waterfall to Haruka. 

None of them minds, though. At the end of the day, when they get back into the car and Makoto takes the wheels, Rin slides to the front seat despite the loud whoops Nagisa directs at them. 

Tottori is only two hours and a half away. Everyone’s fallen asleep by the time they reach halfway through the journey, but Rin stays up, telling Makoto everything and nothing at the same time in quiet voice, murmuring to him things has and hasn’t ever heard, laughing in that contented tone Makoto loves. 

They’re the only ones awake when the car finally crosses the border to Tottori. Under the road lights with buildings that starts to turn more familiar as they progressively close the final distance to Iwatobi, Makoto thinks of the sand dunes, of the beach, of the small islands that spell out home as loud as Rin’s presence next to him. 

“We’re home,” he says. 

Rin looks at him, thoughtful, and then murmurs with a small smile, “We have so much to work on, don’t we?” 

“You and I both,” Makoto agrees. 

But when Rin’s hand slips into his, holding steady, Makoto knows he’ll do anything to keep this hand clasped in his own, for as long as he could. 

**\-----o0o-----**

**Author's Note:**

> Sawara=literally horse mackerel, apparently.
> 
> (Also for all of you who follow the Respite Verse, yes, this fic takes place the earliest in the series. Loosely speaking, this should take place about four years after the TV series, which make Haru/Makoto/Rin about 21 years old. (??? I'm really bad with numbers I could actually have counted that wrong harharhar.)


End file.
